All gifts are under fifty dollars.
Pretty
1. Lettered Wine Carafe, $48 2. ‘Just Give Me All the Bacon and Eggs You Have’ Print (Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation), $16 3. Zippy Coasters, $20 for a set of four 4. Tea and Crumpets Apron, adult $32 and Matching Child’s Apron, $24 5. Sunshine Tea Towel, $9 6. Wallpaper Butter Dish, $24 7. Butcher Diagram (Buy 3, get 1 free), $8.50/each
Practical
1. Beaker Glass Pitcher, $5 2. Pre-seasoned Cast Iron Combo Cooker, $35 3. Magic Twisty Whisk, $8 4. OCD Cutting Board, $25 5. Salt Pig, $28 6. Triple Spout Measuring Cup, $7.50 7. Weber Portable Charcoal Grill, $32 8. KitchenAid Immersion Blender, $42, Chopper attachment, $29
Edible
1. Salt Taster, $14 2. McClure’s Spicy Bloody Mary Mix, $12 3. Foie Gras French Kisses, $10 4. Wild Sage Honey, $38 5. Gluten-Free, Exotic Mix-n-Match Chocolates, $37.50 for six 6. Steve’s Original Sampler Kit, $33
Fun
1. Doodles at Breakfast, $9 2. Salmon Cuff Links, $22 3. Jaws of Cooking Oven Mitt, $18 4. Chill Pill Silicone Ice Tray, $9 5. Ah Choo Pepper Mill, $22 6. Oliver Biscotti Appetizer Plate, $3/each 7. Ice Speed Chess Set, $13
Essential to Life
1 & 2. Health-Bent t-shirt, $20
Giveaway
Want a Health-Bent shirt? We’re giving away two. Leave us a comment telling us why you need one. We’ll choose 2 based on: 1.) the funniest and 2.) picked at random, on Monday, November 28 at 12 p.m. EST. You can only comment once. We’ll contact the winner via email. You’ll have 24 hours to respond with your shipping address, which color you’d like and your size, or we’ll be moving on to the next person.
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Because I’m first?
Because my customers hate it when I show up naked to work on their computers.
Because I have the longest personal email address ever.
I’d like a shirt, because when my husband comes inside after foraging for our meal, he usually needs something more than a loin cloth.
Because it’d be the perfect finishing touch to an ensemble of pajama pants, rain boots, grimy zip up hoody, no bra, no makeup and bedraggled hair for a night out at the grocery store, buying all the sugary snacks, whole grain-loaded eats and a few healthy choice microwavable meals. The hotness, in short.
because if im wearing one, everyone else will want one too
Because certain people think it’s punishment from God that I can’t have gluten and that I’m a demon or heathen for giving up grains, legumes, and dairy. It’s great motivation, actually
Because I need more FIBER in my diet!
Because I don’t always eat paleo…but when I do, I eat Health Bent.
cause i like ur products..
I NEED one because no one I know has one yet- So it would make me cool.
Is cotton a grain? Because if you can’t eat grains, wear them!
Because since coming across your site and the paleo diet, my husband is convinced that it cannot possibly be real. Instead of there being a diet wherein bacon is the hero (his lifelong dream come true) it must be that you two are simply fat,college kids in your parents basement ,NOT 2 buff cross trainers. And instead of working out and brain storming these healthy meals, you are laughing at all the people you’ve got eating bacon and butter, expecting any minute to shed all the hard earned pounds. Cause a “diet” simply cannot be this indulgent.
Because it will match perfectly with bacon pants.
Because I’m a Health Nut!
Because I’m a cutie-patootie Crossfit fiend who can advertise your amazing site in Seattle (where I live!). Really, it’s a very easy choice after reading this …
I need one so I can Light A Fire :)…
Because I ate too much awesome paleo Thanksgiving food this weekend and I don’t fit into any of my other shirts anymore…
Because, well, I’m awesome. And I have an unhealthy obsession with bacon.
Because I’m a recovering hippie-vegetarian-new-meat-eating-crossfitter who thinks your shirt rawks and would wear it proudly!
I need one since you’ve already stated it is “essential to life”. I’d like to continue living!
I need one so that one day, when I’m wearing it out, perhaps at the gym, perhaps at the grocery store, perhaps at the dentist, somebody will come up to me, with a look of shock on their face, and say “Is that THE Health Bent?! Like, the site by that Keatley couple? The one with the best paleo recipes on the Internet?” And then I’ll say “Yes!!! It’s my favorite recipe site!” And then they’ll say “OMG! Me too!” And then we will grab a coffee over which we discuss our favorite HB recipes and become best Health Bent friends forever. Without the shirt, I will miss out on meeting a soulmate.
(I make it sound romantic, but in reality, it’s like getting a pair of vibrams: it’s all about increasing my paleo cred. Just like wearing t-shirts from my favorite bands to increase my hipster cred.)
I need a health-bent t-shirt because I’m currently doing my housework in a neon pink sports bra, sweat pants, and pearl earrings. June Cleaver would be appalled. Need a classy shirt ASAP;)
thanks for all the comments everyone. that was fun…we’ll have to do it again soon.
winners have been emailed.
I’m 2 weeks late, and the only one desperate (idiodic) enough to try and win a t-shirt contest after it’s over?!?
I need this shirt because under all my stomach fat, there is a six pack somewhere, and Health Bent is helping me find them.