…Buy a shirt. Please.

Stuff You Should Know

Both shirts are pre-shrunk, lightweight, cotton/poly blend, with an athletic fit and feature a tear-away tag. Shipping is flat rate priority to U.S. and Canada. Email us with questions.

Just in case you are on the fence about it. Here are 10 awesome reasons you should.

1. You will look awesome in it. The shirt will make you look good AND you will make the shirt look good. It’s nothing without you.

2. There are two colors to choose from. You might need both. Heather red and heather charcoal are awesome. Is charcoal technically a color? Don’t worry about that.

3. They are blended material shirts. Sizing/fit just like American Apparel. Blends are 2x as awesome as other shirts.

4. They are limited edition. These aren’t print on demand shirts. And after this design is gone….we’ll probably go to a new one next time. One of a kind things are awesome. Someday you will become rich after getting this shirt appraised on Antiques Roadshow…if you use it as a case for your Tiffany & Co. lamp.

5. Since they aren’t print on demand shirts…we’re able to cut out the middle man and keep the cost down. You will look awesome for less. No extreme couponing required. If you were the middle man, our apologies.

6. You will make us really happy when you buy one…or seven. You know what they say – happy health-bent = happy life. (Nobody says that.) But we will be awesomely happy.

7. N=2 experiment at our house concludes that wearing this shirt makes you a better cook. This means your food will taste even more awesome.

8. It is very likely that owners of this shirt will have reduced risk of the diseases of civilization. Causation or correlation? Awesome either way.

9. These shirts are very comfortable. Getting comfortable with uncomfortable is for working out…not shirts. Nobody ever got stronger and faster from wearing sandpaper. You can workout in this shirt…and the discomfort won’t be the shirt’s fault. Guaranteed. Getting the most from your workout is awesome.

10. You could wear it as an undershirt. You will be the Health-Bent “Clark Kent”. All you need then is a telephone booth… That’s just ridiculous and awesome.

Seriously though, if you buy one…we really think you will like it and we very much appreciate your support. We hope you’ll be proud to wear one. Light a fire.