Bratwurst. What does that make you think of? Beer? Can’t have it (unless it’s GF I suppose), move on. Mustard? German potato Salad? Me too! What is German potato salad? It’s a vinegar and mustard based potato salad that’s got some bacon and green onions strewn about. Very tasty stuff. Potatoes are really okey dokey in our book, but if you’re watching your waist line, perhaps try this recipe out.

Ingredients

• 1 lb fresh bratwurst
• f.o.c. (fat of choice), we used bacon fat
• 1 lb turnips, peeled and diced
• 1 t brown mustard seeds (optional)
• 1 yellow onion, diced
• 1/4 c apple cider vinegar
• 1/3 c dijon mustard
• s & p

Method

Remove the casing from the sausage by slitting your knife along the back side of the sausage. Unwrap the casing and pull out the meat. Place the meat in a saute pan and brown it up. Remove the sausage from the pan and place in your serving dish. Melt down an obscenely large amount of your fat of choice. Turn the heat down to medium-low and add the mustard seed (if using), onion and turnip. Cook until everybody’s tender. Add the turnip and onion to the sausage. Pour in the apple cider vinegar and mustard (just eye ball it). Mix around, taste and adjust any seasoning. Serve hot.

Another dish inspired by the leftovers lingering in the fridge. Okay that was boring, I know. Sometimes… actually, most times, it’s hard to find the words to type at the beginning of a recipe. Most times, all I can think of saying is what actually went through my head when I first dreamt up the recipe, and that’s usually quite yawn-worthy. Do you really read the “introduction”? Every food blog writes one. How the hell do they always have something to say? Brandon and I are not that interesting. Example: do you really want to know that tonight, Brandon and I painted the hall bath ‘Nutshell’ from the Martha Stewart paint collection? Probably not.

Anyway. After re-thinking what I called this recipe, I hope you don’t schluff this off. It really does sound like the recipe would call for a grilled chicken boob, with the usual fajita suspects, plopped on top of lettuce. The Paleo world has been there, done that.  And though the picture does predominantly feature lettuce, let’s look past that and see it for what it really is… eye candy (due to my lack of pho-tog skills, I have resorted to cheap tricks. I am truly a faux-tographer.). Let me explain, before the comment sections blows up with, “Eye candy isn’t Paleo. You suck.”

Eye candy (noun);

visual feast, eyeful; gloss, tinsel, veneer, decoration, glitter, flamboyance, gaudiness; ritz, glitz, garishness, razzle-dazzle, razzmatazz; sight for sore eyes.

I hope you see this recipe for what it is…a rescue for the pervasive chicken and its dry, lackluster, but always plump, boobies.

Ingredients

• 1- 1½ lbs chicken, cooked anyway you like & chopped (breasts or a mix of breasts & thighs or leftover rotisserie chicken)
• 1 red bell pepper, chopped
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 1 handful cilantro, chopped
• 1/3 c mayo, preferably homemade
• 1 lime, juiced
• salt, to taste
• hot sauce or chili garlic sauce, to taste

Method

In a medium bowl, whisk together the mayo, lime juice, cilantro, salt and chili sauce. Add the chopped chicken, bell pepper and green onion. Mix to combine. Let the salad sit in the fridge, so the flavors can meld, at least 30 minutes. Serve cold.

We’re re-mixing the normal mayo-based salad. Don’t get me wrong, I like chicken salad (I’m partial to this one), but sometimes you just want something different. We’re using the classic ‘Holy Trinity’ of bell pepper, celery and onion found in Creole & Cajun dishes as the base of our salad, mixing in some Old Bay spiced mayo and viola–something different. We had planned to toss in some crawfish tails too–but after a trip to the grocery store, we kind of forgot about them and left them in the trunk to um…hang out. So, we nixed that idea and just bumped up the amount of shrimp.

Ingredients

• 1 ½ lbs shrimp, peeled & deveined
• 2 bell peppers, diced (whatever color is your favorite–or cheapest)
• 4 stalks celery (and the leaves), diced
• 3 green onions, diced
• 2 recipes mayo (about ½-¾ c)
• 1 ½ t Old Bay seasoning (taste and then add more if you’d like, it’s quite strong)
• 1 lemon, juiced
• s&p

Method

Bring a pot of water to boil, add the shrimp and cook until they’re pink, about 5 minutes. Once the shrimp are cool enough to handle, chop them up into bite size pieces. Dry them off really well with a dish/paper towel.

In your serving bowl, mix together all the ingredients.

Serve cold.

HB NOTE: I used the lightest green stalks of the celery. Since we’re eating it raw, it makes sense to use the most tender celery pieces and reserve the other dark green stalks for sauteing. Also, many people don’t know that the leaves of celery are edible–and make a wonderful salad, at that. We’ve made a few recipes using the celery root too.

It was one of those nights where nothing had been planned for dinner and we’re both scratching our heads at 9 p.m. wondering what we’re going to eat (and which one of us was going to pull kitchen duty). I always keep some hard boiled eggs in the fridge and if there isn’t bacon in our fridge, there’s always bacon in our freezer. Thankfully, because bacon is already cut into slices, it takes no time at all to thaw out. So, here you have it– a clean out the fridge salad, that really needs no recipe, so follow the quantities as loosely or as stringently as you’d like…you can do no wrong.

Ingredients

• 2 heads romaine lettuce, chopped small
• 4 hard boiled eggs, chopped
• 7 slices bacon, crumbled
• 1 red pepper, diced
• 3 green onions, choppped

For the Dressing

• 1/3 c bacon drippings
• 2 T Dijon mustard
• 1 T honey
• s&p

Method

First and foremost, get the bacon sizzlin’ in a saute pan. I usually use a sheet/cookie tray and pop the bacon in the oven–and that’s fine too, but for this recipe, I’m using the bacon dripping for the base of the dressing, so I figured it was easier to pour the drippings from a saute pan rather than from a cookie sheet. Once the bacon is crisped to your liking, remove it and let is drain on a paper towel lined plate. Turn the heat off the pan and let the bacon drippings cool.

While the bacon is doing its thing, go ahead and prep your lettuce and veggies, and toss them into your serving dish.

For the Dressing

Using a jar with a screw top lid (think jam, pickles, etc.) combine all the ingredients and shake the living day lights out of the jar. This is the least messy, most efficient way to emulsify the ingredients. A note about the dressing: because bacon fat is mostly saturated, it will solidify at room temp and in the fridge. It’s best to drizzle the dressing only on the portion of salad you’re eating…not on the whole thing, unless you plan to eat it all in one sitting.

Store the dressing in the fridge and reheat it in the microwave for a few seconds to get it nice and fluid again.

I swear to you, I was the biggest pizza fan that ever existed. It was our cheat meal almost every Friday night. About a year and a half ago, I realized that it wasn’t pizza that I loved, it was the flavors piled on top of the crust. There is no real flavor in the crust, it’s just a vehicle for the tastiness on top. I haven’t had a pizza, in the traditional, or even paleo-ified sense, since. So here you have it, instead of picking off the toppings during this year’s Super Bowl party you can eat an entire bowl full of ‘salad’.

Ingredients

• 1 7 oz. package of Applegate pepperoni slices, chopped or sliced*
• 2 bell peppers, choose your favorite color, chopped or sliced
• 1 eggplant, diced
• 1 red onion, diced
• 6 oz mushrooms, sliced
• chili flakes, to taste
• olive oil
• black or green olives, roughly chopped
• banana peppers, roughly chopped
• fresh basil, torn with your hands into small pieces
• any other pizza-like topping you dig

For the Dressing

• 3 T pizza sauce
• 1 T red wine vinegar
• 1/4 c olive oil

Method

Over medium-high heat, saute the pepperoni pieces until they’re crispy. Remove from the pan and let them hang out in your serving dish. Add some fat to your saute pan, along with peppers, onion, eggplant and mushrooms. Let all the ingredients sweat it out together, until they’ve softened and developed some caramelized-like color. Add the veggie mixture to your serving bowl, along with the chili flakes, olives, banana peppers and basil.

For the Dressing

Whisk all the ingredients together. Drizzle over the pizza salad and toss to combine. Serve the salad hot–though cold pizza salad is just as yum in the tum.

*I only mention this brand because it’s free of preservatives like sodium nitrate, sodium nitrite, BHT, etc. Feel free to substitute (or add!) bacon, sausage or any ground meat.

Yup, that’s a long ass title..but I said it. There’s no other way…I mean, what are you supposed to do when you love Caesar salad, Greek salad and buffalo chicken? Mix them all together and see what comes out. What came out was deliciousness. We roasted garlic for the Caesar dressing to add some serious flavor and are omitting dairy (parmesan). It may seem like a tedious task, but I highly, highly recommend you try it–even do a few heads, as opposed to a few cloves, because it keeps really well in the fridge and can be added to ANYTHING that calls for garlic. It’s worth the trouble, I promise.

Buffalo Chicken

• 1 lb chicken, chopped in ½” cubes
• 2 T FOC (fat of choice)
• 3 T hot sauce
• 1 t cajun seasoning (no salt added)–if you can’t find it or don’t have it, just use hot sauce

Heat FOC and add diced chicken. Sear on high heat before flipping to facilitate the browning action. When the chicken is cooked through (10-15 minutes total, 5-7.5 per side) add hot sauce and cajun seasoning directly to pan…stir in and keep on low heat until ready to serve.

Roasted Garlic Dressing

• ½ C avocado mayo
• 2 T white wine or apple cider vinegar
• 6 cloves roasted garlic
• S & lots of P

Make mayo per directions. Peel the garlic cloves and place in a piece of  foil, drizzle with olive oil and crumple the foil into a pouch shape. Roast the garlic in a 400°F oven until golden brown (about 10 minutes). Don’t burn it! Add all the ingredients to food processor and blend until smooth. Parmesan would be a welcome addition here, if you wish. We didn’t use it and know it’ll be delicious either way.

For the Salad

• 2 heads romaine, chopped
• roasted red peppers, diced
• kalamata olives
• anchovies, if you like ‘em
• 4 portobello mushrooms, sliced thin
• balsamic vinegar
• S&P

Clean and remove gills from mushrooms. Slice thin. Saute the shrooms in your FOC, until softened. If you want, remove the chicken from the pan and use it to saute the shrooms. Add a splash of balsamic vinegar and S&P.

Serve romaine topped with sauteed mushrooms, diced red pepper, olives, buffalo chicken and garlic dressing.

A riff on one of our favorite salads from California Pizza Kitchen.

Ingredients

For the Chicken

• 1 ½ lbs. chicken breasts, cut into chunks
• 2 t  paprika
• 1 t coriander
• 1 t cumin
• ½ t cinnamon
• ¼ t red pepper flakes
• salt

For the tasty stuff that goes in the salad

• 2 heads romaine lettuce
• 4 small golden beets
• 1 small-to-medium butternut squash
• toasted almonds
• dried cherries (or cranberries–something tart will work best)

For the dressing

• juice 1 lemon
• juice 1 lime
• ½ avocado
• 1-2 T vinegar (champagne or cider)
• ¼ – ½ c avocado oil (olive oil will work too)
• s&p

Method

Preheat your oven to 400ºF.

Peel the beets and butternut squash (+remove the seeds). Chop into small pieces, salt/pepper and oil the pieces. Roast until the squash is soft, about 20 minutes (depending on how big the pieces are).

While the veggies are roasting…

In a large bowl, combine all the spices together. Toss the chicken pieces into the bowl and coat them evenly with the spice mixture. Heat a saute pan over medium-high heat and saute the chicken until cooked through. Remove from the pan and add to the serving bowl.

Wash and chop the lettuce. Add it, along with the rest of the “tasty” ingredients to the serving bowl. Add the squash and beets too.

For the dressing…

Combine all ingredients into a small food processor and process until smooth. Of course, you could use a whisk and bowl, in lieu –just make sure you’ve smashed the avocado up before adding it to the dressing.

Complete utilization of ingredients is the name of the game with this salad. We’re using the entire broccoli–florets to stem, plus bacon and all its glorious drippings. More often than not, Southern broccoli salad consists of a mayonnaise base. I’ve swapped the mayo for a quasi dressing made out of bacon drippings and, as hard as it may be to believe, this broccoli salad is quite light and refreshing. It’s definitely a recipe for those that love the sweet & salty combo.

Ingredients

• 1 lb broccoli
• 3/4 c slivered or chopped almonds
• 1/2 c raisins
• 6 slices bacon
• 1/2 c rendered bacon fat (drippings) or olive oil
• 1/4 c red wine or apple cider vinegar
• s&p

Method

Set your oven to 375ºF. Place the bacon slices on a baking sheet and bake until they’re brown and crispy, about 25 minutes.

While the bacon is cooking, get out a large bowl. For the broccoli, use your hands to remove the leaves on the base of the broccoli. With a knife, trim off the tough outside of the broccoli stem, so you’re left with the tender, pale green center. It shouldn’t be more than a couple millimeters thick–so don’t hack! Chop up the stem into tiny, bite-size pieces and do the same with the florets. Complete broccoli utilization–woohoo!

Add the broccoli to the bowl, along with the vinegar, almonds, raisins and salt & pepper.

Once the bacon is done, remove from the oven and let it cool. Once cooled, chop or use your hands to crumble up the bacon and add it to the bowl. Pour 1/2 c of the rendered fat (drippings) from the bacon directly into the bowl.

Toss everything to combine. Serve immediately, or wait until it’s cold. It’s good either way.

This salad is great because you can substitute almost all the ingredients I have listed below for something else. Don’t like/can’t find figs, use dried cherries. Don’t like arugula, use spinach or romaine. Can’t find prosciutto? Use bacon or salami.  I have to say prosciutto is pretty easy to find now-a-days. Most grocery stores carry it in their deli case and a little bit goes a long way.

Ingredients

• 5 oz  arugula
• 8 oz prosciutto, sliced thinly
• 1 pint figs, quartered (I used Black Mission)
• 1/2 c pistachios
• 1/2 c olive oil
• 1/4 c red wine vinegar
• 2 T mustard, whole grain or Dijon is best
• s&p

Method

Place the prosciutto slices on a baking sheet and bake at 375ºF until the prosciutto has turned dark red and the fat is golden brown, about 15 minutes. Be sure to flip the prosciutto about half way through the cooking time. The prosciutto won’t actually crisp in the oven, you have to take it out and let it cool off and then it’ll crisp right up–just like bacon. Remove the prosciutto and place on a paper towel lined plate. Toss the figs onto the baking sheet and roast for about 10 minutes to intensify the flavor.

In a large salad bowl, add the olive oil, vinegar, mustard and s&p. Whisk it all together. Add the arugula and the rest of the ingredients. Use some tongs to mix everything together. You can either break the prosciutto crisps into pieces and incorporate them into the salad, or you can place a single chip on the top of the salad (like in the pic) for a “fancy pants” presentation.

We were on a mission with this recipe. A mission to make ourselves like arugula and…chicken breasts. We’ve both always thought arugula tasted like dirt and chicken breasts were more often than not– dry, rubbery and overcooked excuses for protein. Anyway…we were quite successful with this, I must say. Lots of flavor, but still light and relatively inexpensive. Why is this African you ask? Well, the dressing is a riff on Harissa, which is a Moroccan paste made of peppers, cumin, coriander, etc. It’s often found in tube form at the grocery store or of course, on Amazon.com

Ingredients

• 1 lb. chicken breasts, sliced in 1/2 width wise and pounded thin with a meat mallet
• about 3 oz. arugula*
• 1/3 c oil cured olives, pitted**
• 3 oranges supremed (keep the zest for the dressing)***

Dressing Ingredients

• 1/3 c avocado or olive oil
• 1/3 c orange juice
• 1/3 c roasted red peppers
• zest of 2 oranges
• 1 t chili garlic sauce
• 1 t each cumin, coriander, paprika
• s&p

Method

Heat some fat in a saute pan on the high side of medium-high. These chicken breasts cook wickedly fast because they’re so thin. To get a good sear, cook the chicken until it’s about 3/4s of the way there on one side. You’ll see the sides of the chicken turn from pink to white. Flip it over and sear for a quick minute–very, very short amount of time here.

For the dressing:

In a food processor or blender, blend all the ingredients until emulsified.

To serve:

In a bowl, mix the dressing with the arugula, olives and orange supremes. Place the chicken on a plate and top with the salad. Why not put the chicken on top of the salad, you ask? Because you have to knife-and-fork this sucker. Why not have the chicken lying on a hard surface, like a plate, instead of on top of a bunch of lettuce? It’s much easier to gobble up this way, I promise.

*If you can’t find/don’t like arugula, ANY lettuce will work. Romaine, Mixed Greens, Spinach….

**Oil cured olives are just cured in oil (duh) as opposed to brined. Same as above–if you can’t find/don’t like oil cured olives, Kalamata (Greek) olives will substitute well

***You do not have to do this, but it sure is purrrrty and it’s a technique that looks really fancy, but is actually quite simple. This is how you supreme an orange:

Please notice the knife in Ming’s hand–it’s ceramic. I’ve heard they’re super sharp but break easily. Anybody got one of these? Also, Ming made a Paleo recipe, so write it down and make it too!