Do these taste like what your mama used to make? No. Are they soft and chewy or thin and crispy? Nope. Are they delicious, cheap and easy to make? Abso-freakin-lutely. They’re not cookies, but cookie-like, so we’re gonna go with “bakies.” This is pretty much the cheapest and quickest way to make a Paleo cookie–I mean bakie. Why? It’s a throw together recipe with very small quantities of the expensive stuff (almond flour, almond butter) and no eggs. Maybe your eggs aren’t expensive, but my eggs, straight from the farm, are $3.50/dozen; I really hate recipes that call for like 5 eggs at a time. Now that I think about it, these are actually…Vegan, cringe.

Who doesn’t like Emerald Cocoa Roast Almonds? Maybe you haven’t read the nutrition label, maybe you have. Let me inform you these babies are sweetened with sucralose–the ambiguous name for Splenda. Like we posted on Crash Course on Sugar, Splenda is a calorie-free sweetener BECAUSE we cannot digest it–read diarrhea and the likes. So yes, we’ve added sugar to this recipe. But please understand these are not overwhelmingly sweet, in fact, I think the sweetness is quite subtle and find the cocoa “crust” on the outside of the almonds to be the most addictive part of this snack—not the sweetness. Also–this is a great recipe for your kiddies to help out with!

Ingredients

• 2 c raw almonds
• 1 egg white
• 1/4 c water
• 1 t vanilla extract
• 1/2 c cocoa powder
• 1/2 c powdered sugar

Method

Preheat your oven to 350ºF.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg white, vanilla extract and water.

In a zip-top bag, add the powdered sugar and cocoa powder. Seal the bag and shake it around to get everything incorporated.

Add 1 cup of almonds to the egg whites and use a slotted spoon or fork (or nature’s fork–your hands ) to coat all the almonds. Then using your “fork” put all the almonds in the cocoa/sugar zip-top bag. Seal it well and shake it around to coat all the almonds.

Place the almonds on a baking sheet and repeat the steps above with the other cup of almonds. Don’t worry if you get the cocoa powder on the baking sheet–it won’t do any harm.

Bake for about 20 minutes.

If you’d like them a bit sweeter, you can add the cooled, roasted almonds to a zip-top bag along with a few tablespoons of powdered sugar and toss them around.

Keep the almonds stored in a zip-top bag.

After tasting these, you couldn’t pay me to eat the real thing. A recent trip to my grand-ma-ma’s had us partaking in a slice of chocolate cake. It had been quite a while since we had eaten anything like this. I really noticed my taste buds perceiving sweet differently. I had an epiphany, I do not like “conventional” desserts anymore. They’re cloyingly sweet and quite tasteless. The lack of quality and flavor is hidden by a mass of sugar, I suppose. And no, my grandma didn’t make this cake, so I’m totally allowed to diss it!

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 c 70% (or higher) dark chocolate
• 1/2 c coconut oil
• 1 T sugar
• 1/4 c finely shredded, unsweetened coconut (also called dessicated)
• 1 t coconut extract
• 25 almonds, toasted

Method

(Relatively Labor Intensive but Insanely Cute Method)

Place the chocolate in a bowl in the microwave for 30 second increments, stirring between each time. It should only take 2 cycles to get the chocolate melted.

Line a mini-cupcake pan with paper liners. Using a spoon, drop about 1 tablespoon worth of chocolate on the bottom of the liner and swirl it around with the spoon, making sure the chocolate gets on the sides of the liner! Place in the fridge to harden, about 5 minutes.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, add the coconut oil, sugar, dessicated coconut and coconut extract. Mix until smooth, about 2 minutes. Using a clean spoon, drop about 1 tablespoon worth of the mixture into the center of the hardened chocolate. Place in the fridge to harden, about 10 minutes.

Top each candy with the rest of the chocolate. Use your finger to smooth it, if ya gotta! Top with a cooled, toasted almond and stick the pan in the fridge to harden.

These brownies are seriously dangerous. They’re too good. I swear, neither one of us could tell the difference between these and “conventional” brownies–except for the fact these don’t make you feel like poo after you eat them. I made 2 batches in two days and….they’re all gone. Oops.

Besides the fact that these are completely gluten free; you could leave out the sugar in the brownies and be almost 100% Paleo. Try and find chocolate chips with the highest percentage of cocoa. The higher the percentage the less sugar in the chocolate. If you can’t find a good quality chocolate chip, you could always chop up a chocolate bar instead.

Ingredients

• 1 c almond butter
• 1/2 c canned coconut milk
• 2 eggs
• 2 t vanilla extract
• 1/4 t salt
• 1/3 c cocoa powder
• 1/4 c sugar (optional)
• 1/3 c chocolate chips (use the highest % cocoa you can find)
• 1/3 c chopped nuts

Method

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease an 8 x 8 baking dish.

In a bowl whisk together the almond butter, coconut milk, eggs, vanilla extract and salt. Then add the cocoa powder, sugar,  and chocolate chips.

Pour into the prepared baking dish and top with chopped nuts.

Bake for approx. 18 minutes.

Rich, thick and easy. Good luck not eating all of this in one sitting!

Ingredients

• 2 c coconut milk*
• 1/2 c cocoa powder
• 1 t vanilla extract
• 1 t instant coffee powder
• 1/4 t salt
• 6 egg yolks
• 1/4 c sugar

Method

Over medium high heat, whisk together the coconut milk, salt and cocoa powder in a sauce pan. In a bowl whisk together the egg yolks and sugar. Once the coconut milk mixture has come to a simmer, slowly whisk in the egg yolk mixture. Turn the heat down to medium. Constantly whisk until the pudding has thickened. This will take about 3 minutes.

Pour the pudding through a fine mesh sieve into a bowl. This removes any egg chunkies that may have coagulated in the pudding.

Press plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the pudding  (a “skin” will form on the top of the pudding if yo don’t do it!) and place in the fridge. The pudding will thicken as it cools.

{*You could use the carton variety of vanilla coconut milk and omit the sugar. }

I don’t add sugar to this recipe, but you could, of course. It tastes somewhat like coffee with cream, but has a thicker, more luxurious mouth feel.

Brandon & I actually bought a coconut for this recipe! Please note the multiple ‘hacks’ made to this poor coconut. We finally broke down and sourced YouTube for some guidance.

We were thinking it would taste much more coconut-y than canned coconut milk. Let me tell you, just buy the canned stuff, or if you can source the SO Delicious brand of unsweetended coconut milk, it works just as well–except, it’s way easier & cheaper!

If you decide to use canned coconut milk, use the full fat variety. Reserve some of the cream that separates inside the can and dollop it on top of the mocha. It tastes like nutty whipped cream!

Ingredients

• 4 c coconut milk
• 1/2 c cocoa powder
• 1 t vanilla extract
• 1 t instant coffee powder*
• 1/4 t salt

Method

Dump all the ingredients in a saucepan on the stove. The cocoa powder won’t dissolve until the milk has heated a bit, so don’t panic. Use a whisk to swirl it all together and serve hot, just like coffee.

{*Instant coffee, as opposed to regular ground coffee or espresso powder, dissolves INSTANTLY in hot liquids.}