Chocolate and cookies. What more can I say?

Yield: About 2 Dozen

Ingredients

• 1 c almond butter, freshly ground from the bulk section or homemade, but most definitely not jarred
• 1 egg
• 1/4 c cocoa powder
• 1/4 c chocolate chips (highest % cocoa, but NOT baking chocolate (bleh))
• 2 t vanilla extract
• 2T – 1/4 c sugar (optional)

Method

Preheat your oven to 350ºF.

In a mixing bowl, combine all ingredients and mix until thoroughly combined. We have had a few comments about people trying to make these and they fell apart. We’re pretty sure that jarred almond butter is the culprit. The oil that separates on top is causing the dry texture. You must, must, must use freshly ground almonds, from the bulk/grind-it-yourself section of your grocery store. Or you can make your own with almonds and a few splashes of almond oil burred in the food processer.

Let’s carry on…

On a parchment lined (or silicone lined) baking sheet, portion out the cookie dough batter by the tablespoon. Use your clean hand to flatten the ball into the desired cookie thickness.

Bake for approx. 12 minutes or until the cookies are relatively hard to the touch.

Do these taste like what your mama used to make? No. Are they soft and chewy or thin and crispy? Nope. Are they delicious, cheap and easy to make? Abso-freakin-lutely. They’re not cookies, but cookie-like, so we’re gonna go with “bakies.” This is pretty much the cheapest and quickest way to make a Paleo cookie–I mean bakie. Why? It’s a throw together recipe with very small quantities of the expensive stuff (almond flour, almond butter) and no eggs. Maybe your eggs aren’t expensive, but my eggs, straight from the farm, are $3.50/dozen; I really hate recipes that call for like 5 eggs at a time. Now that I think about it, these are actually…Vegan, cringe.

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 c almond flour
• 2 small bananas, about 1 c*
• 1/4 c dark chocolate chips
• 3 T almond butter
• 2 T brown sugar or coconut sugar, optional
• 2 t vanilla extract
• 1 t baking soda
• pinch of salt

Method

In a mixer, mix the following ingredients together until smooth: bananas, almond butter, brown sugar, vanilla extract, salt and baking soda. Add the almond flour and chocolate chips.

Bake at 350ºF for about 11 minutes. As you can see from the picture, I used a 1 1/2 inch ice cream scoop to form the cookies. Use a spoon if you gotta, but if the cookie dough “ball” is larger than an inch and a half, you’re going to need to adjust the baking time. These bakies do stick a bit to the pan, so use gentle force to remove them–or try lightly greasing with baking sheet.

*Your bananas MUST have brown spots on them! When I say 2 small bananas, I mean: when you roughly tear the bananas into a measuring cup, you get about one cup, do not puree the banana and then measure.

After tasting these, you couldn’t pay me to eat the real thing. A recent trip to my grand-ma-ma’s had us partaking in a slice of chocolate cake. It had been quite a while since we had eaten anything like this. I really noticed my taste buds perceiving sweet differently. I had an epiphany, I do not like “conventional” desserts anymore. They’re cloyingly sweet and quite tasteless. The lack of quality and flavor is hidden by a mass of sugar, I suppose. And no, my grandma didn’t make this cake, so I’m totally allowed to diss it!

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 c 70% (or higher) dark chocolate
• 1/2 c coconut oil
• 1 T sugar
• 1/4 c finely shredded, unsweetened coconut (also called dessicated)
• 1 t coconut extract
• 25 almonds, toasted

Method

(Relatively Labor Intensive but Insanely Cute Method)

Place the chocolate in a bowl in the microwave for 30 second increments, stirring between each time. It should only take 2 cycles to get the chocolate melted.

Line a mini-cupcake pan with paper liners. Using a spoon, drop about 1 tablespoon worth of chocolate on the bottom of the liner and swirl it around with the spoon, making sure the chocolate gets on the sides of the liner! Place in the fridge to harden, about 5 minutes.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, add the coconut oil, sugar, dessicated coconut and coconut extract. Mix until smooth, about 2 minutes. Using a clean spoon, drop about 1 tablespoon worth of the mixture into the center of the hardened chocolate. Place in the fridge to harden, about 10 minutes.

Top each candy with the rest of the chocolate. Use your finger to smooth it, if ya gotta! Top with a cooled, toasted almond and stick the pan in the fridge to harden.

Hi there CrossFit RVA members. Stop by to see who is to be the whipping boy for all things “non-Paleo”? That’s fine actually…but at least hear me out for a second. We are CrossFitters just like you. We apply critical thinking to exercise and diet…and maybe even moreso – a healthy, practical lifestyle and how to reach it. We don’t have to agree, but before you jump to any conclusions I’d ask that you first understand that we have created a context on this site where recipes like this fall. We know that this is a treat and that is why it is categorized as such. Again, come to any conclusion that you will…but if you wouldn’t mind…give us the courtesy of doing the due diligence that the person directing you here clearly has not done. Maybe poke around our about page to get some insight to our point of view or check out this article on how we try to use the “Paleo template”. With regards to the “Sex With Your Pants On” argument…we have actually addressed that in length and a completely different conclusion can be drawn from that statement…it’s all about how you see it. Then, judge away.

- Brandon

These brownies are seriously dangerous. They’re too good. I swear, neither one of us could tell the difference between these and “conventional” brownies–except for the fact these don’t make you feel like poo after you eat them. I made 2 batches in two days and….they’re all gone. Oops.

Besides the fact that these are completely gluten free; you could leave out the sugar in the brownies and be almost 100% Paleo. Try and find chocolate chips with the highest percentage of cocoa. The higher the percentage the less sugar in the chocolate. If you can’t find a good quality chocolate chip, you could always chop up a chocolate bar instead.

Ingredients

• 1 c almond butter
• 1/2 c canned coconut milk
• 2 eggs
• 2 t vanilla extract
• 1/4 t salt
• 1/3 c cocoa powder
• 1/4 c sugar (optional or sweetener of choice)
• 1/3 c chocolate chips (use the highest % cocoa you can find, around 70% is good)
• 1/3 c chopped nuts

Method

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease an 8 x 8 baking dish.

In a bowl whisk together the almond butter, coconut milk, eggs, vanilla extract and salt. Then add the cocoa powder, sugar,  and chocolate chips.

Pour into the prepared baking dish and top with chopped nuts.

Bake for approx. 18 minutes.