I knew I wanted to make egg nog cookies. I started assembling the ingredients, pulling out the cans and bags I needed, reached in the fridge for the eggs, and nada. We didn’t have any. This is an e x t r e m e l y rare occurrence in the Keatley household. Alas, I decided to carry on with the plan and see what I could concoct sans nature’s perfect food.

Yield: ~16 cookies

Cookie Ingredients

• 2 c almond flour
• 1/3 c coconut oil, melted
• 1/4 c sugar
• 1/2 c canned, full fat coconut milk
• 1 t baking powder
• 1 t cinnamon
• 1 t grated nutmeg

Icing Ingredients

• 1/2 c canned, full fat coconut milk
• 1/4 c palm shortening, melted
• 2-3 T powdered or liquid sweetener of choice
• 1/2 t grated nutmeg
• 1 T brandy (optional)

Method

For the cookies

Preheat your oven to 350ºF.

Mix together all the cookie ingredients. Use a cookie scoop to dole out the mixture onto a silpat (or silicone or parchment paper) lined baking sheet. These cookies won’t spread, so don’t be afraid to plop them close together. Place in the oven and bake until golden brown, about 20-25 minutes.

For the icing

In a bowl or 2 cup measuring cup (something with a spout would be ideal so you can just whisk, chill and pour the icing), whisk all the ingredients together and place in the fridge until it’s had enough time to chill and thicken. Once chilled, pour has much icing as you’d like over the top of the cookies.

For those who enjoy the flavors of fall, are afraid of baking (no ovens, tempering or whipping involved) and/or have an allergy to nuts, grains, gluten, dairy and/or eggs, this recipe has your name written all over it. Essentially, the only people who can’t eat this Paleo treat are vegans, but that’s just because they won’t.

Yield: 6 Servings

Ingredients

• 14 oz. can pureed pumpkin
• 14 oz. can coconut milk
• 1/3 c maple syrup, grade B (It’s cheaper and more flavorful)
• 1 t cinnamon
• 1 t vanilla extract
• 1 T gelatin powder (I used the Great Lakes brand)
• 1/4 c luke warm water

Method

In a small sauce pot, whisk together the pumpkin, coconut milk, maple syrup, cinnamon and vanilla. Right when it’s about to come to a simmer, remove it from the heat.

While the pumpkin mixture is heating up…

In a cup or small bowl, sprinkle the geltain over luke warm water and stir to combine, making sure there are no lumps. Let it firm up. Whisk the semi-solid gelatin mass into the pumpkin mixture.

Pour the pumpkin custard into ramekins or any fancy dish you’d like. The smaller the dish is, the faster the custard will be ready for consumption.

Press a small square of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the pumpkin custards, not over the top of the ramekin, directly on the custard (doesn’t hurt to reiterate, right?). This keeps a ‘pudding skin’ from forming on the top.

Refrigerate, to allow the custard to set-up and get firm.

You should be able to serve and eat in around 4-6 hours.

I know this looks like a long ass list of ingredients, but bear with me. I’ve tried my hardest to simplify the process of adding a ton of flavor without having to be a slave to the method or the list of ingredients. What I mean is…I am lazy. I really dislike recipes that make you constantly look back and forth at the dizzying lineup of spice quantities. 1/8 teaspoon and 1/2 teaspoon and 1/2 tablespoon. That’s recipe whiplash and I’m suing. So, for the recipe below, almost everything is measured by ones. Not hard to remember, and easy to customize if you’d like more or less of any particular flavor.

Ingredients

For the Chowder

• 2 T coconut oil
• 1 t cumin seeds
• 1 t brown mustard seeds
• 1 thumb size piece of ginger, finely minced
• 1 yellow onion, diced small
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 t curry powder (sweet or hot)
• 1 t garam masala
• 1 can full fat coconut milk
• 2 lbs white, flaky fish (we used cod)
• salt
• juice from 1 lime

For the Crou-tains

• 2-3 green plantains, diced small
• 3 T coconut oil
• salt

Method

For the Chowder

In a medium sized soup pot, melt the coconut oil over medium heat. Add the cumin and mustard seeds. Let them dance around the pot for a minute or two and then add the ginger, garlic and onion. Saute until the onion is cooked through. Add the curry and garam masala powders. Dump in the can of the coconut milk. Stir everything around to combine.

Now add the fish. Just toss the whole fillets in there. Stir them around in the pot, every so often, until they’re cooked through. Take 2 forks and pull the fish into flakes (just like if you were pulling apart a chicken breast or beef brisket). Remove the soup from the heat and stir in the lime juice.

For the Crou-tains (Paleo Croutons)

In a large saute pan, melt the coconut oil. Add the diced plantains. As always, the smaller the dice, the faster they’ll cook. Let the plantains fry until they’re cooked through and have a nice crust on the outside. Shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes.

Just like regular croutons, the crou-tains taste better the day they’re made. Not that they’re inedible the next day, they’re just not as crispy.

Whenever Brandon and I are traveling together, we usually stop somewhere and buy iced coffees.  It’s our “on-the-road” treat. The 6ish dollar tab always leaves me with an ugly temperament. So I’ve decided to make my own. Instead of using the traditional drip system, french press or coffee maker, which would yield roughly 8 cups, I dabbled in the cold brewed method, which leaves you with a freaking stock pile of coffee.

Ingredients

• 1 lb of coffee for Cold Brewed Coffee (recipe below)
• Water
• Frozen Water
• Coconut Milk, canned or carton, (try using the flavored stuff for a little added sweetness)
• Protein Powder, optional

Method

Cold Brewed Coffee

Depending on what kind of equipment you’ve got on-hand, this recipe may be easy or kind of MacGyver-ish. Grind up (or use ground) 1 pound of your favorite coffee. Dump the coffee grounds into a large bowl. Add 1 gallon (16 cups) of water. Mix to combine. Cover and let steep for at least 8 hours and up to 24.

Get out a large pitcher (at least 4 liters or 1 gallon) or another large bowl. Place a drip coffee [pic] filter holder (lined with a filter, of course) on top of the pitcher opening. Pour in the coffee until the bowl is empty. You may have to spoon out some grounds if the drippiness seems slow. If you don’t have a drip coffee set-up, just use a fine mesh strainer (possibly lined with some cheesecloth, depending on the fineness of your mesh) and place the set-up over a large bowl or wide mouthed pitcher. Done.

Now, this is where things get a bit hairier, as the variations are probably endless; (Proper use of semi-colon? No clue.) and these variations probably don’t need explainations, but I’ll go on anyway…

Iced Coffee

Fill a cup with ice. Pour coffee over ice. Mix in the desired amount of coconut milk.

Frappuccino

Put the recipe above in a blender. Blend on high until frothy.

Protein Shake

Add a scoop of your protein powder and do what it says above.

We get a lot of B.S. for labeling things like what we’ve got pictured above as ‘paleo’. All I can say is…I don’t want to type this lonnnnnng title out every single flippin’ time we have a recipe that’s grain/gluten free, dairy free and low carb. It’s just easier to type the word ‘paleo.’ It’s all encompassing–you know what we mean when we type it. Did they use almond flour in paleolithic times? No. But they also didn’t drizzle olive oil, drink coffee or chow down on the modern day bovine cow. We’re not re-enacting paleolithic times! Then there’s the other side of the coin, reproducing a ‘bad’ neolithic food into a ‘paleo’ food. Pancakes, pizza and pie exist and they’re not going anywhere anytime soon. So our whole view on this is, why not have something that really isn’t detrimental to your well-being. It’s a treat. Treat your treats like a treat–eat them every once in a while. We solemnly believe treats like these help you NOT de-rail from the Paleo track. So, with all due respect to our readers, if you don’t like it, don’t make it. We’re not going to stop posting things like this. The end.

Yield: 10-12 big ol’ fatties

Ingredients

• 1 ½ c almond flour
• ½ c coconut milk (we used the refrigerated carton kind)
• 1 T sugar
• 1 t baking soda
• 1 t baking powder
• 1 t vanilla
• 5 eggs
• F.O.C. (fat of choice), we used bacon fat—mmm, bacon flavored pancakes.

Method

Blend all the ingredients in your blender. Set your cast iron pan or griddle on medium heat and melt some of your F.O.C. Ladle the batter into whatever size you’d like–coin, silver dollar, big ol’ fatties. Once tiny, little bubbles form around the edges of the pancake, it’s ready to flip.

This recipe is an ode to all the singles out there on Valentine’s Day. No one thinks about you guys during this ‘holiday’, I’d imagine a lot of you dub it a ‘helladay’. Well, there’s no longer any need for that. It’s time to start thinking about things a little differently. How about this…all the couples have to share this recipe and you don’t. How awesome is that? But, if you are currently attached… this is definitely the only way you can 100% guarantee you’ll be gettin’ some whoopee this Valentine’s Day.

Yield: About 24 cookies or 12 cookie sandwiches

Ingredients

For the Cookies

• 2 c almond flour*
• 1/4 c cocoa powder
• 1/2 c full fat, canned coconut milk
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 c sugar
• 1 T vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 t baking soda
• 1/2 t baking powder
• red food coloring (You choose what you want to use. Beet juice is the hippie way, otherwise just use liquid or gel, until you like the color you see.)

For the Filling

• 3/4 c palm shortening**
• 3 T coconut oil
• 1 t vanilla extract
• 3 T powdered sugar, or any liquid sweetener***

Method

Set your oven to 350ºF. Whisk together all the cookie ingredients. Use a cookie scoop to dollop the batter in uniform sizes (important for the art of sandwich cookie making), onto a parchment or silicone lined baking sheet. Depending on the size of your cookie/baking sheet, this took two batches. Bake for about 15 minutes.

For the filling

Beat all ingredients together in a mixer. It may appear crumbly at first, but give it some time and eventually the shortening will start to get fluffy like butter. This should take about 3-5 minutes.

Once the cookies are 100% cool (Do not rush this, unless you enjoy wasting things.), use a small off-set spatula, or a spoon, to scoop some filling onto one of the cookies. Spread the filling around the surface of the cookie, top with another cookie and immediately put it into your mouth.

The filling does get hard in the refrigerator, so it’d be best to fill the cookies right before you plan to eat/serve. You could, of course heat the refrigerated cookie sandwiches in the microwave for a few seconds to soften everything up a bit.

*We just re-ordered some Honeyville almond flour. They’ve milled it down finer than previous batches we’ve purchased. Hands down, way better than before and way better than (and cheaper than) Bob’s Red Mill. These cookies really, truly had a baked texture similar to what you’d get with flour. Highly recommend this almond flour!

**Palm shortening is a tropical, non-hydrogenated, trans-fat free, flavorless, similar to butter, budget friendly fat source. They sell it at most health food stores.

***Why liquid if you don’t use powdered sugar? Granulated sugar didn’t dissolve when we made these, so the texture was oddly crunchy…definitely still edible, just crunchy.

I also dub this recipe “Christmas Protein Shake” and “Christmas flavored coffee creamer”.

Ingredients

• 3 cans (13.6 oz) coconut milk
• 1 T vanilla extract
• lots and lots of nutmeg–about 1/4 of a ‘nut’, freshly grated
• 1/4 t ground cloves
• 3 egg yolks
• 1/4 – 1/3 c sugar
• cheap Brandy (optional)*

Method

In a large saucepan, heat the coconut milk over medium heat and add the vanilla extract.

In a mixer, add the egg yolks and whisk with the sugar and until they’re pale and fluffy. Remove the bowl from the mixer and bring it the near the stove with a whisk. If you don’t have a mixer, just do it the old-fashioned way… ELBOW GREASE, baby!

Pour just a bit of the warm coconut milk into the whipped yolks (which are still in the mixer bowl) and whisk together. Now, put the coconut milk back over the heat and then add the egg yolks/coconut milk mixture from the mixer bowl. This is what is called ‘tempering’ the egg. Its purpose is to make sure the egg doesn’t turn into ‘chunkies’ when it’s added to a hot liquid. Whisk everything together and turn the heat up to medium-high. Whisk the mixture every minute or so for about 5 minutes, until everything has thickened.  DO NOT let this mixture come to a boil or you will have created Scrambled Egg Nog. Stir in the brandy, if using.

Serve hot or cold, topped with some fresh grated nutmeg.

*Brandy is a product of the wine making process. I highly recommend using Brandy in this recipe. Just a few tablespoons makes a big difference in flavor without any added alcohol-iness. Of course, if you’re looking for alcohol-iness, add as much as you want.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again–that was the theme for this recipe. As a matter of fact, the 4th batch was the charm. We tried everything from almond flour to coconut flour, varying the sweet potato ratio, fiddling with the leavener, decreasing the number of eggs, and then finally… when we thought all hope was lost–s u c c e s s. Pardon my dramatics, we are obviously very happy.

Yield: about 20 4 inch pancakes

Ingredients

• 3 eggs
• 1 ½ c sweet potato (about 1 large)
• ½ c almond butter
• ½ c carton unsweetened coconut milk (we used So Delicious brand)
• 1 t baking soda
• 1 t baking powder
• 2 t cinnamon
• ½ t nutmeg
• ½  t salt
• coconut oil

For the Maple, Pecan Coconut Butter

• 3 T coconut butter* (or use butter if you eat dairy)
• 3 T toasted pecans, chopped
• 2 T maple syrup
• 1 t cinnamon

Method

Peel, chop into small pieces,and boil your sweet potato until it’s fork tender.

Once the sweet potato is cooked and cooled, add all ingredients to blender and blend thoroughly.

Your batter should be pretty liquid-y thin. If it wouldn’t run off a spoon, it’s too thick…add a little more coconut milk until you get the right consistency.

Heat your griddle/cast iron/non-stick skillet over medium heat. Melt a generous bit of coconut oil and pour in the batter, in whatever shape or size you’d like. When the pancake begins to have surface bubbles near the center flip and cook other side (each side 2-3 minutes). Add more coconut oil to cook surface as needed between batches.

Getting your heat right is the key to cooking these babies. If it’s too hot you’ll burn your pancakes before they’re cooked through. Try a small dollop of batter as a “tester” to see if the temp is just right before committing the entire batch. If your oil is smoking at any point it’s probably too hot. So adjust your heat accordingly during cooking. It can be a little tricky, don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Let your pancakes rest in the oven on “warm” on a paper towel lined plate until all batches are complete.

For the butter

Mix all the ingredients together and spoon on top of the pancakes.

*Coconut butter is a puree of coconut meat, it’s that simple. You can buy it at many health food stores or on Amazon.com. If you can’t find it, try coconut oil and let me know how it turns out.

Brandon’s birthday was the other day and neither one of us wanted to gorge out on birthday cake, but believe me, that does happen every once in a while. So I decided to challenge myself by making something that was “health-bent” and still better than edible. Gotta say, I’m tootin’ my own horn with this one. No almond flour is involved. All the ingredients are pretty dang cheap. Hope ya’ll can find a special occasion to show off this show stopper.

On a side note: Yes I’m using sugar. Yes I’m using dairy products. But hopefully you all understand this is a special occasion treat and we use sugar very sparingly. Also, dairy is something that is quite controversial in the Paleo world. We source raw (unpasteurized, non-homogenized ) and grass fed dairy products–and that’s the only way we’ll eat them.

Yield: 18

Ingredients

• 1 c almond butter
• 1/2 can full fat coconut milk
• 2 eggs
• 1 t baking powder
• 1 t baking soda
• zest of 1 orange
• 1/2 c raisins or 1/3 c sugar
• 3 carrots, shredded
• 1 T vanilla extract
• 2 T cinnamon
• 1 t nutmeg
• 1 t ginger
• 1/4 t cloves
• pinch salt
• 1/2 c toasted, chopped pecans (optional)

Frosting Ingredients

• 1 lb. cream cheese, room temp
• 4 ounce butter, softened
• 1/4 c powdered sugar
• 1 T vanilla extract
• pinch salt

Method

In a bowl, combine all the cupcakes ingredients and whisk to combine. Scoop into a muffin tin and bake at 350ºF for about 20-22 minutes.

While the cupcakes are baking, make the frosting by dumping all the ingredients into a mixer and mix until fluffy, about 10 minutes. Don’t frost the cupcakes until they’re C O M P L E T E L Y cool, otherwise it will melt and that is just not good.

To frost the cupcakes, use a spatula to put 1/4 of the frosting into a zip top bag. Cut a tip off the corner of the bag and try your hardest to make them look pretty (it takes practice). Fill the bag again and repeat. Or use a small spatula to swirl a bit of frosting on ‘em. Top with chopped, toasted nuts if you’d like.

If you’ve never heard of this, it’s probably because you don’t live in the South. This is completely, 100% Southern. What’s funny is– I have no idea why that’s so. I don’t really associate curry and cilantro with the South–but hey, I didn’t make this up. It’s usually got some bacon in it and served over rice, but for budget and time’s sake, I didn’t use bacon– I did, however, saute the chicken in bacon renderings. My favorite.  As you can see from the picture, we used drumsticks. I strongly advise you to follow the recipe below and use boneless chicken thighs (skinless, if you want) because drumsticks, as cheap as they may be, take forever + a lifetime to brown and cook through.

Ingredients

• 1 lb. boneless chicken thighs, skinless will work too
• 1 onion, diced
• 2 t garam masala
• 1 t curry powder
• 1/2 c raisins
• 2 t fresh ginger, minced
• 1 can coconut milk
• 1 lime, juiced

Method

In a skillet, melt some fat over medium-high heat. Salt and pepper the chicken thighs. Sear them on both sides until browned and cooked through. Remove from the pan and place on your serving platter.

Add the diced onion, garam masala, curry powder and ginger to the saute pan. Saute until the onions are tender. Add the coconut milk, raisins and lime juice. Simmer for a few minutes. Spoon the sauce over the chicken thighs.

Top with fresh cilantro and sliced almonds.

Also

You will probably have leftover sauce. Here’s an idea to use it up…

To the remainder of the sauce, add 2 cups of chicken stock. Ta-da, you’ve made a coconut curry soup. Add leftover pulled chicken thighs or roughly dice up a pound of chicken breasts and add to the soup. Let the soup simmer on medium heat until the chicken is cooked through.