Ingredients

• 1/3 c yellow mustard
• 1 T mayo
• 1 t yellow curry powder
• 1/4 handful of cilantro, chopped
• 1-2 t honey

Method

Mix together and serve as a dipping sauce.

As the month of January is winding down, I assume the Super Bowl is somewhere nearby. I don’t know when the Super Bowl is (Yes, I know how to Google, I just don’t care enough.) or who’s playing (don’t care about that either). I unapologetically know jack shit about football and I plan to keep it that way, but I imagine a sub 30 minute meal made of pork would be a welcome addition to the table o’ football grub.

Ingredients

• 1 lb ground pork
• 1 egg
• 1 egg yolk
• 1/2 c almond flour
• 1 jalapeño, finely diced
• 1 t chili garlic sauce
• 2 green onions, finely chopped
• handful cilantro
• 1/4 t sesame oil
• 1/3 c mayo
• s&p

Method

Preheat your oven to 350ºF.

Add the ground pork, egg, egg yolk and almond flour to a mixing bowl.

Now, the rest of the ingredients (minus the mayo and sesame oil) are for both the meatballs and the dipping sauce. Chop once, use twice, right? So halve up everything and mix one half in with the meatball mixture and the other half in with the mayo and sesame oil.

Stick the dipping sauce in the fridge while we finish up with the meatballs.

Line a baking sheet with a silicone mat or parchment paper. Use a small ice cream/cookie scoop to portion out the meatball mixture onto the baking sheet.

Place the meatballs in the oven and bake until cooked through, about 15 minutes.

Turn the oven on broil and brown the tops of the meatballs.

Another dish inspired by the leftovers lingering in the fridge. Okay that was boring, I know. Sometimes… actually, most times, it’s hard to find the words to type at the beginning of a recipe. Most times, all I can think of saying is what actually went through my head when I first dreamt up the recipe, and that’s usually quite yawn-worthy. Do you really read the “introduction”? Every food blog writes one. How the hell do they always have something to say? Brandon and I are not that interesting. Example: do you really want to know that tonight, Brandon and I painted the hall bath ‘Nutshell’ from the Martha Stewart paint collection? Probably not.

Anyway. After re-thinking what I called this recipe, I hope you don’t schluff this off. It really does sound like the recipe would call for a grilled chicken boob, with the usual fajita suspects, plopped on top of lettuce. The Paleo world has been there, done that.  And though the picture does predominantly feature lettuce, let’s look past that and see it for what it really is… eye candy (due to my lack of pho-tog skills, I have resorted to cheap tricks. I am truly a faux-tographer.). Let me explain, before the comment sections blows up with, “Eye candy isn’t Paleo. You suck.”

Eye candy (noun);

visual feast, eyeful; gloss, tinsel, veneer, decoration, glitter, flamboyance, gaudiness; ritz, glitz, garishness, razzle-dazzle, razzmatazz; sight for sore eyes.

I hope you see this recipe for what it is…a rescue for the pervasive chicken and its dry, lackluster, but always plump, boobies.

Ingredients

• 1- 1½ lbs chicken, cooked anyway you like & chopped (breasts or a mix of breasts & thighs or leftover rotisserie chicken)
• 1 red bell pepper, chopped
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 1 handful cilantro, chopped
• 1/3 c mayo, preferably homemade
• 1 lime, juiced
• salt, to taste
• hot sauce or chili garlic sauce, to taste

Method

In a medium bowl, whisk together the mayo, lime juice, cilantro, salt and chili sauce. Add the chopped chicken, bell pepper and green onion. Mix to combine. Let the salad sit in the fridge, so the flavors can meld, at least 30 minutes. Serve cold.

GOBlin Deviled Eggs (Goat Cheese, Green Onion & Bacon)

Ingredients

• 1 dozen eggs, hard-boiled
• 4 oz goat cheese
• pinch of cayenne
• salt
• 2-4 T mayo
• 2 green onions, sliced very thin
• approx. 8 oz bacon

Method

While the eggs are boiling, cut your bacon into thin strips (widthwise) and crisp them up in a saute pan over medium heat. When the eggs are done, peel & cut them all in half (lengthwise). Scoop the yolks out into a medium bowl. Whisk together the yolks, goat cheese, mayo, cayenne and salt. Using a small spoon, scoop some of the mixture back into the egg white. With an offset spatula, smooth the top–the goal here is to make it look like the yolks were never taken out of the whites. ← I think this looks nicer for presentation, you don’t have to do it–but it’s definitely more portable this way. Sprinkle with bacon and green onions.

We’re re-mixing the normal mayo-based salad. Don’t get me wrong, I like chicken salad (I’m partial to this one), but sometimes you just want something different. We’re using the classic ‘Holy Trinity’ of bell pepper, celery and onion found in Creole & Cajun dishes as the base of our salad, mixing in some Old Bay spiced mayo and viola–something different. We had planned to toss in some crawfish tails too–but after a trip to the grocery store, we kind of forgot about them and left them in the trunk to um…hang out. So, we nixed that idea and just bumped up the amount of shrimp.

Ingredients

• 1 ½ lbs shrimp, peeled & deveined
• 2 bell peppers, diced (whatever color is your favorite–or cheapest)
• 4 stalks celery (and the leaves), diced
• 3 green onions, diced
• 2 recipes mayo (about ½-¾ c)
• 1 ½ t Old Bay seasoning (taste and then add more if you’d like, it’s quite strong)
• 1 lemon, juiced
• s&p

Method

Bring a pot of water to boil, add the shrimp and cook until they’re pink, about 5 minutes. Once the shrimp are cool enough to handle, chop them up into bite size pieces. Dry them off really well with a dish/paper towel.

In your serving bowl, mix together all the ingredients.

Serve cold.

HB NOTE: I used the lightest green stalks of the celery. Since we’re eating it raw, it makes sense to use the most tender celery pieces and reserve the other dark green stalks for sauteing. Also, many people don’t know that the leaves of celery are edible–and make a wonderful salad, at that. We’ve made a few recipes using the celery root too.

Yup, that’s a long ass title..but I said it. There’s no other way…I mean, what are you supposed to do when you love Caesar salad, Greek salad and buffalo chicken? Mix them all together and see what comes out. What came out was deliciousness. We roasted garlic for the Caesar dressing to add some serious flavor and are omitting dairy (parmesan). It may seem like a tedious task, but I highly, highly recommend you try it–even do a few heads, as opposed to a few cloves, because it keeps really well in the fridge and can be added to ANYTHING that calls for garlic. It’s worth the trouble, I promise.

Buffalo Chicken

• 1 lb chicken, chopped in ½” cubes
• 2 T FOC (fat of choice)
• 3 T hot sauce
• 1 t cajun seasoning (no salt added)–if you can’t find it or don’t have it, just use hot sauce

Heat FOC and add diced chicken. Sear on high heat before flipping to facilitate the browning action. When the chicken is cooked through (10-15 minutes total, 5-7.5 per side) add hot sauce and cajun seasoning directly to pan…stir in and keep on low heat until ready to serve.

Roasted Garlic Dressing

• ½ C avocado mayo
• 2 T white wine or apple cider vinegar
• 6 cloves roasted garlic
• S & lots of P

Make mayo per directions. Peel the garlic cloves and place in a piece of  foil, drizzle with olive oil and crumple the foil into a pouch shape. Roast the garlic in a 400°F oven until golden brown (about 10 minutes). Don’t burn it! Add all the ingredients to food processor and blend until smooth. Parmesan would be a welcome addition here, if you wish. We didn’t use it and know it’ll be delicious either way.

For the Salad

• 2 heads romaine, chopped
• roasted red peppers, diced
• kalamata olives
• anchovies, if you like ‘em
• 4 portobello mushrooms, sliced thin
• balsamic vinegar
• S&P

Clean and remove gills from mushrooms. Slice thin. Saute the shrooms in your FOC, until softened. If you want, remove the chicken from the pan and use it to saute the shrooms. Add a splash of balsamic vinegar and S&P.

Serve romaine topped with sauteed mushrooms, diced red pepper, olives, buffalo chicken and garlic dressing.

We wanted to call this, Paleo Italian Sub Mariner–the Rolex of Paleo subs. But alas,  often times we think we’re very funny when others do not. Most Paleo, low-carb sandwiches use the lettuce as the “bread”–that makes no sense since lettuce breaks and tears so easily. So–why not use the meat, the most flexible component of a sandwich as the “bread” and put the lettuce and all the other goodies in the middle? Booyah! Roll these bad boys up in some wax or parchment paper and you’ve got a portable lunch.

Ingredients

• sweet/honey ham
• capicola ham*
• salami
• tomato, sliced thin
• banana peppers
• spinach or other lettuce
• dried oregano
• olive oil
• mayo & mustard

Method

Use the largest coldcut (probably the honey ham) for the outside layer.

Overlap that coldcut about 1.5 inches, making 2 rows of 4 like this:

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(Cutting edge illustration, ya?)

Make sure it’s overlapping, then layer your other meats on top.

Squeeze on the mustard and mayo, but only on one half. This will be the half that is going to be the inside or middle of your roll.

Layer your thinly sliced tomato, the banana peppers and spinach (and any other toppings you choose) over the mayo/mustard.

Other adds that would be yum – olives, red wine vinegar, cucumbers, onions

Roll from the filling side first as tight as you can.

Wrap in parchment or wax paper, like a burrito, and off you go.

*Capicola ham is similar to proscuitto, however capicola is meat from the shoulder of the piggy and proscuitto is meat from the thigh. Boar’s Head sells it as “cappy ham” and it’s usually located around the salami and mortadella.

This was inspired by a dish we had during a recent trip to Charlotte, NC. When we look for new places to eat we typically use Urban Spoon and read reviews–that’s how we found this place. I have to say, we were pretty disappointed. It was one of those places where the menu read better than the food actually was. One example: mussels steamed in beer with herbs and what-not. Thought it sounded interesting, it wasn’t, pretty gross, actually. We did have one thing, though not very good, we thought we could improve upon–bacon wrapped tater tots. So here you have it, our version:

Ingredients

• 2 sweet potatoes, cut into thick matchsticks*
• 1 package bacon, don’t use thick cut
• 1/2 c mayo, using avocado oil
• 1-2 chipotles in adobo sauce
• 1 lime, juiced

Method

Get your oven to 425°F. Soak the sweet potato matchsticks in a bowl of cold water for up to 6 hours. This removes a lot of the starch from the potato. When you remove the potatoes, you can visibly see white starch granules at the bottom of the bowl. Drain the water from the potatoes and pat dry.

Slice each piece of bacon in half, lengthwise. Wrap 1 strip of bacon around 1 matchstick sweet potato. Lay on a baking sheet. Repeat until all the bacon is gone. If you have left over sweet potatoes, toss ‘em on the pan too, they’ll cook beautifully in all the rendered bacon fat.

For the Dip

In a food processor, pulse up the chipotle(s) and lime juice into the mayo.

Bake the fries for about 25 minutes on one side. You’re looking for browned bacon. Use some tongs to flip the fries over and bake for another 10-12 minutes, until browned.

Squeeze some lime juice on the fries. Serve hot and with the dip.

*You want a thick cut (not thin!) and keep the skin on. Here’s a rough how-to:

Alright, alright, I know, you’ve probably made this before. BUT…here’s our twist, we have found the PERFECT oil for homemade mayo, mixed it with a pile of easy to find ingredients and you’ve got an easy, fast, refreshing and flavorful meal.

Ingredients

• 1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken thighs
• 1 c avocado mayo*
• 2 t yellow curry powder
• 1 t garam masala**
• 1 1/2 c raisins
• 2 T mango chutney***
• 1 1/c c slivered almonds, toasted
• handful of cilantro, roughly chopped
• S&P

Method

Place the chicken on a baking sheet and bake until cooked through, about 25 minutes on 350ºF.

While the chicken is baking, take out a large bowl and  mix together the rest of the ingredients. Once the chicken is cool enough to handle, chop it into bite sized pieces and place into the large bowl. Mix to incorporate.

Serve cold.

*So here it is, drum roll please….

Avocado oil makes the perfect mayonnaise.

With most oils we’ve tried to make mayo with, the flavor is quite bitter or very, “POW! in your mouth.” Bacon mayo, tastes like bacon and coconut oil mayo tastes like coconut. Think about this way, I wouldn’t want coconut oil mayonnaise in my egg salad. The avocado mayo flavor isn’t bitter, but creamy and rich–quite buttery, really. The flavor is ideal to mix with almost anything. For the chicken salad, take this recipe and double it. We sourced the oil on Amazon.com. Please notice, you get 2 large bottles.

**Garam masala is an mixture cinnamon, ginger, cumin, coriander, nutmeg, etc. You can find it at most grocery stores.

***Mango chutney, also sometimes called Major Grey’s Chutney, is a like a sweet and spicy mango jam. You can find it at most grocery stores, on the ethnic aisle.

Imagine eating a chili dog with slaw, onions and yellow mustard. Now imagine taking off the bun and eating it in a bowl with a fork and you’ve got the idea behind this recipe. Another way to look at it, we’ve taken off the sour cream, avocado and cheese from chili and added hot dog toppings.

Ingredients

Chili Ingredients

• 1 lb. ground meat* (I used ground chicken, but anything would work)
• 1 package hot dogs, chopped (I used sugar-free beef franks from U.S. Wellness Meats)
• 1 can Rotel tomatoes, juice drained, chopped small
• 1 c tomato sauce
• 2 chipolte peppers in adobe sauce, chopped finely
• 1 t garlic powder
• 1 t cumin powder

Slaw Ingredients

• 1 red cabbage, sliced thinly (The cabbage should quite small–weighing about 1 lb., you won’t need more than that)
• 1/2 c mayo
• 1/2 red onion, sliced
• 3 T pickled jalapenos, finely chopped**
• 5 T pickled jalapeno juice**
• 1 T yellow mustard

Method

In a medium sauce pan, cook the ground meat all the way through and then add the cut up hot dogs. Throw the rest of the ingredients in the pot and let it simmer while you make the slaw.

For the slaw, get out a large bowl and add all the ingredients, except the cabbage, and whisk to combine. Add the cabbage to the slaw base and mix to combine.

To serve, place the chili on the bottom of the bowl, then add some slaw and top with whatever hot dog fixings you like. Yellow mustard is an absolute must!

*If you’re pinching pennies, you can definitely leave out the ground meat and just use hot dogs. Chop the hot dogs rather small so they go further.

**Don’t be afraid of the pickled jalapenos or the juice. It’s not nearly as spicy as fresh jalapeno…but as always, add a little at a time and taste as you go–because you can’t take it away after you’ve added it.